A Bittersweet Reunion

[Psyche]

Simon let his hand slip into Nora's as he tried to stifle the rising hiss in the back of his mind: For the last time.
The past seventeen days and ten hours had been among the most beautiful and confusing of his life. After he had ended their first embrace, Simon had crept upstairs in drunken euphoria. There was simply no other way to describe his state. Above the chaos, his only anchor to stability in a sea of violent emotion was a cold, familiar voice telling him that it was all a dream. Nora had never been, never would be, his, and nothing he could ever do would change that.
Yet, the next morning he awoke, a bit light-headed from a night of fitful half-sleep, but wholly convinced that what had happened was not mere imagination. In the days to come, he often wondered whether this was luck or misfortune. Nora was undoubtedly much friendlier to him, and he to her, at least outwardly. Andrew had been overjoyed from the moment he saw them together. Simon was annoyed in spite of himself at how obvious they were.
He tried to enjoy their time together. After all, this was literally a dream-come-true. How often had he pictured her eyes on him the way they were now? How many nights had he spent imagining how her skin would feel against his? At first, he tried to withdraw. How could he ever face Nate again, going behind his back this way? He was suppose to protect her. He couldn't abide the idea that he was taking advantage.
When all of this was too much, he tried to convince her, against hope, to stay. After all, they were happy here. They could be together. They could make a life.
"Wouldn't it be romantic?" he ventured, trying to veil his desperation. "Just the two of us." He could tell by the look in her eyes that no argument would deter her. In spite of the disdain they both had (in their own way) for the world from which they had come, he knew that their time here was coming to an end, and Nora was becoming all too ready. He could sense her home-sickness... Andrew's, too. It seemed Simon, as ridiculous as it would have seemed even a month ago, was the only one content with letting things stay just the way they were.
As long as he remained here, he could be with Nora: without fear, without guilt, without shame. Here they were equals. He was allowed to love her, and she him. It tore him apart to imagine the scrutiny that would be placed on their happiness back home. It would be impossible. As long as he was here, he was a reputable citizen. As long as he was here, he wouldn't have to face Nate.
He begrudged every passing second, knowing it only took him further from her, further from happiness, further from the moment they had held one another close and whispered promises about forever. Sometimes, as the day grew closer, he resented the expression of anticipation that occupied her features. He wondered if she knew what a strain it put on him. Would she be so thrilled if she knew it could mean the death of everything between them?
Simon clenched her hand within his and closed his eyes as they made the jump. He never thought home would be such a disappointment until he gazed upon it and his heart nearly dropped from his chest. They were back... For better or worse.
He tried to ignore Nora's inquisitive glances as he withdrew from her and set out across the once-familiar street in the cool mist of morning. All around them, the houses seemed asleep along with the people in them. He couldn't remember the last time things had been so peaceful, yet inside he was anything but quiet. He tried to drown his thoughts with the sound of his marching feet and his racing heart. The others had fallen behind, but he was lost in thought. It wasn't until he had climbed right up the steps to the old manor that he stopped to considered anything at all.
Andrew was almost running alongside Nora in attempt to keep up with his long-legged, older brother. He was afraid that all had been lost. Even torn, seemingly between two selves, Simon had never seemed half so happy in all his life as he had in the past few weeks. It was hard to imagine now, staring at the back of his down-turned head, the rays of hope that had blossomed on his visage when returned from Nora's room so many days ago. Andrew nearly crashed into the lanky, careworn man as he came to a dead stop in front of the door.
"Well?" he asked quietly, a mist forming on his breath. "Aren't you going in?"
The older man stared at the knob with such concentration that Andrew became concerned.
"It's just a door, Simon," he began.
Simon shook his head. "No, I can't... No."
"Don't be ridiculous, you just..." Knock.
The sound put Simon immediately on edge, and before the younger man could proceed, he swatted the offending hand. Every hair on him seemed to bristle, and he cast a glance behind him as if checking for an escape route. It wasn't until the door swung open, and he was frozen to the spot that Simon was entirely convinced, himself, that he would not run.
"Hello."

[Stockmon]

The last thing Nora every expected to feel toward Simon was attraction and attachment. It wasn’t his fault, but it also wasn’t hers. This was simply the last way she had expected these things to occur. He was her butler, but more importantly he was… Simon. He was the man she threw a brush at when she was depressed. He was the man who scolded her brother for getting himself into all sorts of stupidly dangerous situations. He was the man who she had seen come from the awkward young boy. They had all grown up, and apparently in that time Simon had grown extremely fond of Nora. Usually she would think some negative thought, or something guarded and smart. Currently she just hoped she could return all of those emotions in time.

She was already very interested in Simon. He was so intense, and so emotional. For such a guarded and collected individual, it was surprising how he seemed at the edge of flying off the handle at the slightest thing. In her relationship with Taylor things had been completely different. They had walked together, shared their feelings, but seldom come into physical contact. They certainly had not kissed. It had been a meeting of minds and a strong connection via their emotions, but nothing physical. Things were physical with Simon immediately. From the drunken emotional response to the general closeness of their environment. Things were so openly physical in this era. Taylor talked of a time when things were even more intense. It baffled Nora, but she could see the appeal. It was undignified, but not all undignified things were uninteresting.

Nora had endured a rough existence, according to her own recollection. She was blessed with money and health, but cursed with loss and criticism. She found that she was apparently blessed to find a man who adored her. That was all she had wanted. Not the pomp and airs that she saw so commonly among her class at home, but real emotion. Real and intense and sometimes intimidating, but she would not complain. She wanted Simon to feel that way, because it meant she was allowed to feel whatever she pleased. Whatever she actually felt, instead of what she could consider “appropriate.”

Things had been odd. They had been nice, and yet, they had ended. Simon asked Nora to stay in this era but it was a painful question. She needed her brother. She did not need much of anything else from home, but as Taylor said, they needed to go home. He suspected she would be healthy wherever she was, but Andrew would not. It was a sad fate, seeing how the girl Ann would miss Andrew. She went to the trouble of writing him several letters and giving them to Nora. Nora put them in her pocket, keeping the growing collection safe even as they went back to her home. Just as she felt sad for Andrew and Ann, she felt sad for Simon. He looked miserably anxious. She knew life would be awful back in their judgmental home, but it was home. She could not hide from that.

They neared the house and Simon’s anxiety became apparent, but clearly not apparent enough for Andrew. Even while the older Lockwood brother stalled at Ashburn manor, Andrew found his hand knocking on the door. Poor Simon. The door opened, and there stood the absolutely wonderful Nathaniel Ashburn. He wasn’t the one who had answered the door, but he was in sight. He immediately walked over, wrapping his arms around his sister and actually lifting her up off her feet.

Nora let out a nervous and surprised laugh at her brother’s response. “Nathaniel, calm yourself. I have missed you too,” she admitted, blushing and allowing herself to be set down. He smiled at her.

“Simon,” he said, putting out his hand to shake Simon’s. It was clear he had missed his best friend too. “And Andrew. Come in, of course. You must be… well, I do not know what you must be. You look safe and healthy, and that is enough of a reassurance for me,” he admitted, grinning. He ushered them inside before the door closed. The neighborhood did not need to see this. The other servant walked away soon, and Nathaniel put an arm around his sister again, much as she seemed to half-heartedly protest.