Reconnaissance

[Psyche]

As if overnight, the dynamic of the household had shifted. Though the change wasn’t immediately obvious, the effect of it seemed to emanate into every aspect of life. It was subtle--glances, a slight change in manner, silent exchanges--but Andrew couldn’t ignore the strange sensation that there was a glaring conclusion hidden just out of sight.
The fact that something had transpired between Nora and Simon was clear, but there was a barrier in his mind toward the most obvious reasoning. He knew his brother’s character better than most and refused to believe, in spite of the evidence, that he would put either of them in such a position. It wasn’t until Simon had pulled him aside one morning with an unexplained request that Andrew was struck by the reality.
He had agreed, regardless of the suspicion, and allowed himself to be grateful for the time with Nora. They had bonded considerably since their first meeting, and he had come to regard her a close companion. Anyway, he never denied an opportunity to explore.
They arrived at the mall just after noon, and he encouraged her to lead the way. They had received an allowance from Taylor before their departure, but Andrew had determined to save his. Ann had dropped by on her lunch break and agreed to meet them after her courses.
Even now, he was pleasantly surprised at how easily small talk came with Nora. The past few days, she had been more reserved than usual, but the excursion seemed to brighten her aspect considerably. They chatted for some time, about nothing in particular, before he allowed himself to breach the subject which had nagged at him for days.
“It’s weird,” he started, segueing into the topic as fluidly as he could manage. “Simon has seemed so odd lately… Happier, I guess.” He smiled. Only for a person like his brother would the descriptor happy be considered synonymous with odd. He decided to leave out his knowledge that she was involved. If she wanted to address the topic, he would be grateful for an answer to the mystery. Any more seemed disloyal.

[Stockmon]

Nora’s outlook on life had become so entirely confusing. Not only was Simon at least slightly distracting and perhaps on some level attractive, so suddenly putting her life in his hands. And he was in love with her. Like he was in love with her. When asked what he wanted, it was her. And the kissing was playing games with her emotions. She could remember it, and even when it blurred together she could remember how it felt by now, and with so much time to think she realized that he mind continued to wander there. It wandered back to that frequently and then her mind moved on to if they were to continue this, as was assumed, then those sorts of things would actually happen again, but without the alcohol to dull her senses. It kept her awake some nights for a little too long.

She had been more pleasant toward Simon, though overall kept less of a watch on him. She no longer had to be confused about her interest, or jealous. She… liked him and that explained things fairly well. Still, with everything that had happened she couldn’t help but sit there and let her eyes wander over to him. The newfound and growing attraction was absolutely horrible for her nerves. She hardly ever had nerves, and now she was on high alert with them. When Andrew had agreed to go out with Nora for the afternoon, and meet with Ann later, she was happy to just get away. Even while they had been bonding, she kept thinking of things in the back of her mind.

Nora periodically looked at objects that caught her attention. Specifically gothic crosses of most objects, but she didn’t let herself linger long. She wanted to remain engaged in conversation. “It’s weird. Simon has seemed so odd lately… Happier, I guess.” Nora almost coughed when Andrew even mentioned his brother. Her heart rate increased, but she kept this to herself. If she was going to be able to have any level of decorum later, she was going to need to cover this little thing. The fact that the comment came from Andrew was hardest. Nora was dying to talk to someone. She could hardly talk to Simon himself due to the nature of their situation, and most of their bonding was done silently, just being at all more comfortable around the other.

“Happier… yes, well. He seems somewhat less antagonistic, but your brother and I have never been excellent at reading each other. He confuses me and surprises me,” Shut up Nora... she thought, internally cringing, “frequently even growing up with him.”

[Psyche]

Andrew watched his friend carefully. At the mention of Simon, she grew visibly distressed. He was ashamed at the interest it sparked. He hated to see her so uncomfortable, but he was beginning to worry what exactly had taken place. He had never know Nora to shy away from him like this. The fact that she was so reluctant to discuss it only served to emphasize its importance.
Nora agreed distractedly to his observation, before admitting her own confusion. He frowned at her, trying to determine just how far he was obligated to push the matter. Andrew was sure he hadn’t been the only one to notice: After her encounter with Simon, she had been withdrawn, almost suspicous. Something was clearly bothering her. It was hard to decipher the line between prying and helping. Pondering this, he continued beside her.
”He’s not really that hard to know,” Andrew said lightly. ”He’s proud and stubborn and desperate to prove something… to be someone else.” He shrugged his shoulders. ”He’s jealous of you. Well… Not you. It’s just… Whenever he would come home, for a holiday or a visit… whatever his reason, he would never stop talking about you. The parties, the elegance, the fun he had with your brother, the things he had learned, how much he adored you.”
“It was like he wasn’t home at all. When he did look around, there was nothing but pity… Revulsion, even. Eventually he stopped coming altogether. He doesn’t like where he came from. He refuses to acknowledge it. I mean, he’s worked for your family for as long as I can remember, yet I’d never met you until recently.”
“He helps us out of sentiment, I suppose. Or maybe because he thinks he’s required… but the truth is he never belonged. Pride has no place with people like us. It was obvious when he was with us, and even more obvious when he went away. He’s happier, and as much as I’d like to blame him, I can’t. I know why he does it… And we’re all a little bit crazy when it comes to that.”

[Stockmon]

Surely things were bothering Nora, but it could not be helped. She heard him start his comment and disagreed immediately.”He’s not really that hard to know.” Yes he is. I’ve known him most of my life, he is hard to know. He is… off somewhere and I am off somewhere and he is thinking and judging and just… I guess I am doing the same. He isn’t easy to know… he isn’t open…. Not to me anyway. I suppose to Nathaniel… She felt quietly jealous of her brother for this moment. “He’s proud and stubborn and desperate to prove something… to be someone.” You don’t seem to know him like you think. You think he’s easy to know and all you know is that? He’s not… he’s… protective… and guilty, and how can you just say he is easy to know and summarize his whole character like that? “He’s jealous of you.” She stiffened some, already feeling defensive of Simon, “Well… not you.” Andrew went on to explain how Simon acted when he went home. Talking about the lavish things. Parties elegance, Nate. Of course those were there. Were they what Simon fixated on? Was this part of why he didn’t understand Nora’s disregard of it? Was that something he… wanted? She knew it was impossible. They would need to move to a new country or something to manage any sort of anonymity with that kind of wealth. “how much he adored you.” She assumed, or hoped that Andrew meant Simon adored the Ashton siblings, and not her in specific. It didn’t stop the slight warmth to her face and the small swallow of anxiety.

She continued to listen as Andrew kept going. Pity. Simon pitied them. Not a surprise though, since they were hardly surviving with just Simon’s own money to support them.”Revulsion, even,” also not surprising to Nora. She had spoken to Simon when she found out about Andrew. He had explained things, including how infrequently he spent time with his brother. He explained how he felt at home with her and Nathaniel, as he had grown up with them. She knew these things. She did, and she understood them by now. “He helps us out of sentiment, I suppose.” He certainly had been bitter when he explained, though as Andrew spoke now, it sounded as if he resented the help. Or that it was unjust. Simon had been hurt by all of this, and he helped. Was it so wrong he felt no attachment to people he never saw and who treated him with resentment? People he couldn’t relate to? Nora was upset on Simon’s behalf and it was becoming slowly visible in her face. She remembered the conversation, her crying, hugging Simon, his kind words at the time. Maybe it wasn’t so confusing that she suddenly felt these things about him, when she looked back.

“Pride has no place with people like us.” It stung to hear and Nora narrowed her eyes as if scrutinizing Andrew not. Pride…. Pride…. Why do you both talk like you’re from another world? Do you have pride when you talk to Ann? That she cares about you? That you have any value? Maybe I appreciate my status less than I ought, but you all treat it so much better than it should… you should have pride… in things besides the unimportant monetary things I have.

“He’s happier, and as much as I’d like to blame him, I can’t. I know why he does it… and we’re all a little bit crazy when it comes to that.”

“When it comes to what?” she asked at the end of that. It was silent then. Nora waited, Andrew thought it over. Eventually he came up with a one word answer. Love. She blushed immediately and coughed. And this was a deep blush, contrasted against her pale face, “Yes, w-well I have….” She should stop, no doubt, but she felt as if this must be what Andrew was prodding at. And she truly was going to explode without someone to talk to. “I have spoken to him on that matter, and I… well we are…. Figuring that out.”