Trouble

[Stockmon]

Two weeks in this time passed unlike any two weeks Nora had known. Taylor periodically left them to work with his mother, but that was only twice in the two weeks. Ann had been playing tour guide. She took them to a library so massive Nora just walked around speechless. It only helped to make her speechless when Ann explained that this was where her mother worked. Of course this was not the only thing Ann had done in the time being, she had gotten everyone to go swimming, and asked to see Andrew on her own.

The swimming had been eventful. Ann said that she would bring some of her family, because it didn’t make sense to go out without a group. Nora was surprised when so many people showed up. Ann’s sister Dot, her children eight year old Natalie and five year old Ruth. Ann’s sister Circe and her husband Max showed up with their six year old twins Alexander and Meg. Ann’s sister Eury even showed up with three children, Lauren, Benji, and Blake, the oldest being three. Nora didn’t mind after long. She ended up having a fairly civil conversation with Eury about children, and got to hold Eury’s infant son Blake. There was some swimming involved, but mostly socializing, which Phaedra, Ann’s single twenty-year old sister, knew all about.

Phae walked around the swimming pool in what Nora considered undergarments and a see through nightgown. Eury laughed and told Nora that it was a bikini and cover-up. It doesn’t cover up much… Nora thought, but she was distracted by two year old Benji tugging at her hand. Phae looked around the pool casually. Her brother-in-law, the boy her sister was fawning all over and, really, Annie? Kept smiling at and taking any excuse to hold his hand. Then there was family friend Taylor, who was sitting in a corner holding a conversation with her brother-in-law. Her nephews. And this one man. He just shot to the top of her radar, and Phae made her way over to Simon. She had been friendly, pleasant, positive, and ignored any apprehension or disinterest he showed.

That had been a long day, but Phae wasn’t around again, for about a week. She came over with a care package for Taylor. It included a bottle of liquor, which was reasonably hard for her to get, some cheese and crackers. It was her own personal day package. She’d come over in a pair of jeans and a crop top, because it wasn’t abnormal for her. She had a hoodie over that, but took it off once she got inside. Taylor was gone for the time being on errands, so Phae settled on the couch and asked Simon to hang out with her, while Nora walked off decidedly to the laundry room to clean clothes.

[Psyche]

The pool party had been immensely uncomfortable for Simon. Ann had dressed him up in the shorts they had decided on at the store some days prior, and he had spent the first portion of the afternoon eyeing the mass of people with uncertainty. He wasn’t sure why they had all been invited… Why, in fact, they were out in the open socializing at all. From the way Taylor had explained things, he thought there were people looking for them. Were they not in hiding? He was frustrated with the plans and annoyed at his powerlessness to stop it.
Nora was at the other side of the pavillion, engaged in conversation and surrounded by strangers he was reluctant to approach. Though the outing had been constructed on the premise of actual swimming, very few of the attendees seemed to even take notice of the pool. More than anything, they sat around talking, leaving Simon to fend for himself. Andrew and Ann had become inseparable. He watched the two of them now with stifled jealousy.
From his place at the far edge of the pool, he had a decent view of everyone. He had stood there, reluctantly watching for some time, before lowering himself to the ledge so that his feet could dangle into the water. It wasn’t until a shadow fell over him, breaking the rays of sun that had been warming his bare shoulders, that he realized he had company. He looked up from his thoughts to find a young brunette at his side. He noticed with surprise which was not entirely displeasure that her thin form was almost entirely visible beneath a veil of material.
She sat down beside him and introduced herself. Simon found himself grinning as he returned the formality, and the two fell into almost easy conversation. In his unfamiliarity with the style, he often found himself glancing at the uncovered portions of her skin. A few times, his wandering eyes had been noticed, and rather than the defensiveness he might have suspected, the girl simply laughed. His awkwardness faded, and he found himself chatting pleasantly with her for hours. When his companions at last came over to announce their departure, he had been amazed at how quickly the time had elapsed.
Nearly a week had passed without sight of her, and Simon had written it off as a solitary encounter. He had fallen back into life with Nora and Andrew without complaint. Taylor was often missing from their party, and he was beginning to feel almost at home. He had been preparing to help his mistress with the laundry when a knock at the door announced a visitor. He eyed it suspiciously, wondering how to respond. A second knock coerced him. When he opened the door, his expression lit with surprise.
“Phae,” he managed. ”How are you?” After a moment of discussion, he allowed her inside, all thought of the laundry dispelled from his mind. He tried not to notice as she removed her over clothes to reveal the somewhat exposing shirt beneath. She invited him to join her on the couch, and he had followed her into the living room without question. They sat for a moment in silence, as Simon tried to piece together a conversation.
”So, what have you been up to?” he asked congenially. ”I was wondering if we would see you again.”

[Stockmon]

Nora had gone swimming. She’d even swam with the children. She was used to athletic activities, but not wearing so little while doing them. Still it was enjoyable. It was enjoyable when she wasn’t looking at Simon. Nora would have been happy to swim with Simon, but when people wanted to be nice to her, she was able to reciprocate. Simon seemed to think socializing was a disease. At least with most people. She had to wonder if he liked children, and why she should care. It wasn’t a big deal, but she did enjoy being around children. Were she and Taylor able to be together, and have children who wouldn’t die, maybe they would have had some. Maybe. It was neither here nor there, and Nora only knew she frowned every time she saw Simon with that woman. Did she not have her own friends to talk to?

The jealousy had been extremely powerful, and when the groups actually separated and went home. Nora was quiet. She was reasonably quiet for the next few days. She eyed Simon like he confused her. It was foreign and strange to see. Why him talking to some woman would annoy her? Simon was her butler, and her friend, and he could do as he pleased right now, she didn’t care. In the last few days she went back to being friendly and reasonably warm toward Simon, but now they were almost alone. Taylor left and said someone was going to be by later. Ann and Andrew were off on their own, probably being sweet and gushing, as they did fairly frequently. It was no doubt sweet, but mostly right now it was frustrating.

Nora had collected the laundry and was heading in to work on it when someone knocked on the door. She supposed it was whoever Taylor said might come over. She was sorting clothes when she heard Simon.

“Phae,” Really? Phae? Here? Here? Here. Nora’s stomach sank a bit, and she gripped the t-shirt in her hands a bit tighter, “How are you?”

“I’m great. What about you? You look cute today,” Phae said, grinning her almost innocent smile. It wasn’t innocent. She wasn’t a sleeper, but she loved to flirt, and Ann had failed to mention any of this. “I brought a care package!”

Nora could only imagine what the care package was. Taylor went out and supplied them with everything they needed. He took care of everything. Phae was just there to cause Nora grief, in Nora’s mind. She kept sorting, being quiet but listening to them.

“So, what have you been up to? I was wondering if we would see you again.”

Nora’s jaw clenched and she stuffed one last pair of socks into the washing machine before forcing herself to read the detergent instructions one more time. Maybe she didn’t want to go out and see them together, but she really did get confused about all this every time she tried.

“Aw, you’re sweet,” Phae said, putting the bag down, “I’ve got classes and stuff to go to, you know. I also work a little, but coming to see charming guys is always a priority. Where’s the black haired lady? Not that I mind not having competition on your attention…” she trailed off. Nora closed the washing machine door and kept her tense hand from spinning the little dial too hard. The machine came to life and slowly began filling with water. “I take it that’d be her,” Phae giggled.

Nora walked into the room, merely because she couldn’t honestly ignore them. “Hello,” she said blankly, her tone reminiscent of the one she used for society ladies who would eye her over their fancy lace fans.

“Hi, I’m Phae, Annie’s older sister, nice to meet you,” Phae said, giving her a small wave. Nora didn’t seem especially inclined to be in physical contact with the woman.

“Nora,” was all Nora really said. She noticed the bag, and upon glancing at it, Phae mentioned it being a care package, “I can put it on the table if you’d like.” Phae said that would be great. Nora did so and took out the bottle. It was unfamiliar alcohol, and some candy bars. Odd. Without a word she went back to the laundry room to sort the clean laundry that needed put away.

“Is she always so… antisocial?” Phae asked gently, still in a good mood.

[Psyche]

“I’m fine,” Simon assured, pleasantly. Her compliment was met with an unconvinced laugh, but he couldn’t help returning her smiles. When Phae produced the “care package” in question, he hardly took notice but to exclaim: “Oh, how very nice of you!” She changed the subject to her coursework, and an expression of surprise was wholly evident. ”Really?” he inquired. In his time, college was a luxury of the upper class. Except for those pursuing a more intellectual profession, it was for the most part expensive and unnecessary. For women it was even more uncommon (and considered a mark against their personality, in some society). ”What are you studying?” At the mention of her job, he was even more surprised, but he determined to let it pass without comment. Seeming too unfamiliar with the current culture would likely lead to some awkward questions. She complimented him again, and this time he blushed.
”Well, it’s good to see you, too,” he mumbled. Nora’s name awakened him to his surroundings. He heard the washing machine running and felt a wave of guilt. He had promised to help. I take it that’d be her.
”Yeah…” Simon looked to Nora as she entered the room, trying to judge from her expression if she had taken his lapse in memory poorly. She greeted Phae without warmth, and Simon wondered if something had happened. She had been unusually distant for days now, but he had chalked it up to the difficulty of her position. He had been friendly whenever contact was made between them, but he had tried to not intentionally seek her since their talk weeks before. He supposed she had plenty with which she had to come to terms, and he didn’t want to make it harder by imposing his own problems on her.
The introductions were even colder, and Simon furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at his old friend. She offered to take Phae’s gift into the dining room and disappeared without another word. Simon and his new companion sat in uncomfortable silence until Nora had returned to the laundry room. He stared after her with concern, wondering the proper course of action, until Phae interrupted his thoughts.
“No,” he said after some consideration. Nora wasn’t exactly the most talkative woman alive, but she was always pleasant unless she had reason to act otherwise. As far as he knew, there was no logic behind the stiffness of their interactions. He had never seen his mistress act so oddly toward a complete stranger. ”I’m sorry. I am sure she didn’t mean to offend. She has a lot on her mind.” Perhaps she was upset with something he had done. Would she take it out on Phae simply out of reluctance to be friendly in his presence? He glanced again at the door behind which she was hidden.
”So… he tried to begin. His worry for Nora made him struggle to identify a light-hearted topic. ”What do you do for fun? Other than work and school, of course…” He smiled at her and tried to force his vexation from mind.

[Stockmon]

Phae smiled a little more when Simon said he was fine, “Well I suppose I should work on improving that fine to a great.,” she said happily. Nora wasn’t even sure what to think of Phae calling Simon cute. Her first reaction was a mix of confusion and anger. Not anger, but she liked anger. Anger was understandable, controllable. Her broken heart was so much worse because she didn’t know how to properly handle that side of her emotions. She didn’t like or thin about jealousy, so it must be anger. And the confusion. Children were cute, maybe animals, men were not cute. Women from this time were absurd. Simon should stay away from them.

And there was Simon, gushing at the woman about how nice her delivery was. For all he knew Taylor had asked for it. Taylor hadn’t, but Nora had no way of knowing that. Technically it was very illegal for Phaedra to buy alcohol. It took special privileges to purchase alcohol which her family had, and the age to purchase alcohol had increased. She just took it from the house. And the candy she had asked her parents to buy. It wasn’t so common for anyone to go to college now. They mostly followed the tracks that the government put them on, but families like the McDuff’s had some special privileges. Since Mr. McDuff worked for the government university, and Mrs. McDuff worked at a government funded library, their children got to go to school for what they wanted.

Phae kept smiling as Simon expressed an interest in her, and Nora moved around, willing herself not to just drop Simon’s clothes on the bed. She put them in a neat pile, along with Andrew’s. She was not used to menial tasks, but it kept her busy, and she was not entirely incompetent. She hated that idea. Phae apparently was not also incompetent, but Nora could luckily not hear them right now.

“I’m studying physical education. So I might do some programs at schools, or coach a sport, or be a personal trainer. I just like to keep my body moving,” she smirked, which became a grin when she saw him blush, “Blushing is a good look for you,” she said, gently touching one of his cheeks.

Nora had sorted the laundry and was now heading into the living room. Being so angry was making her thirsty. Seeing Phae’s hand just about leaving Simon’s cheek did not help. She silently, gracefully even, walked into the kitchen, where she was at least out of view again. She looked around and saw the alcohol. It was like wine, right? She wasn’t exactly sure how to handle this kind of drink, but she hadn’t lost all semblances of manners.

“I go jogging sometimes. And swimming, I’d go shopping if it was easier. So… dancing is pretty cool, talking to attractive men is a nice perk. What do you like to do for fun then?”

Phae was being… polite even if her posture was far too close to Simon. Nora stayed in the kitchen long enough to let Simon answer. What would he even say to that? Did he do anything for fun? Besides sulk? She knew he did, but she was curious. Once that exchange had occurred, Nora, with less hostility, walked into the living room.

“Do you mind if I drink any of that?” she asked simply. Phae turned to her and smilled.

“No, not at all. You totally should,” she said. She might have offered to measure some out for Nora if she knew that Nora had no real concept of what she was drinking. Nora was stubborn, and did not understand what she was doing, so she wasn’t going to ask, because that was the most logical thing. When Nora thanked her and turned back to the kitchen, not even looking at Simon, because it upset her a bit too much, Phae turned back to Simon.

“Maybe she isn’t entirely antisocial,” Phae teased, putting her hand on his arm casually. Nora was busy pouring some of the liquor into a glass. She set the bottle back down and took a drink. A real gulp, because she wanted something to distract her. That was probably a mistake, as she coughed quietly. And wow, was that strong. She calmed down pretty soon and tried another, lesser drink. No, still bad. Smaller drink. Bad. She had downed more than enough to mess with her head, but didn’t realize it. She still had some in her glass, but she set that on the counter and poured a small bit of water and drank that, just to clear her throat.

“So, how do you know Nora anyway?” Phae asked casually. She put her hand back in her lap. Nora was recovering from the drink, but didn’t want to finish it, or pour it out. She supposed she should at least finish it, so she did, and then washed the glass quickly. Phae nodded when Simon answered her question, “Well that’s pretty cool,” she said, and, for some reason, whatever compelled her, she kissed his cheek.

Nora caught the general action and was immediately sick feeling. There was no way to the basement except past them. Even going outside, which was a bad idea, was past them. She walked hastily, without a word, and down to the basement, closing the door behind her. She had cleared out the space substantially that night with Andrew, and kept it very clean since. She hadn’t gotten a chance to play the piano much, but it was one of her great loves. Her soothing mechanism. She slid onto the seat, her fingers lingering over the keys. Her heart was racing from the alcohol and the confusing jealousy. She was horribly upset, and it translated to calm, quiet piano music. She had been doing this for years, and she didn’t need to look at the keys to press them. It did becoming disconcerting as the music gently hit her ears, and she slowly realized she felt dizzy. When the keys became a bit blurred she rubbed her eyes and just looked at them. If she focused, they were fine, she supposed, so she went back to playing, very gently, a very slow song, just to keep herself occupied.

[Psyche]

Simon was more than glad to listen to Phae when she began to detail her education. It was impossible to put Nora from mind completely, but at least now he had a bit of a distraction. With every story she shared, Simon was astonished. He forced a friendly grin, as if accepting the facts as mere trivia, and forced himself to dispel any preconceived notions of what exactly she should be. His mind was a blank slate. He refused to let himself be taken aback by anything she said. The times had changed, vastly albeit, but he had to do his best to blend with them.
She continued to explain to him what exactly her degree entailed, and at the suggestive smirk she gave him, he felt his face grow hot. She complimented him again, and the feel of her fingers was like ice against his cheek. He tried not to retreat from her touch, but his movements thereafter were considerably more self-conscious. Her hand pulled back, and he averted his eyes to catch a glimpse of Nora. This was enough to make him remember his decorum. He sat up straighter in his seat and attempted to replace foolish expression he had been donning with a more respectful one. Nora, however, did not seem to notice. She simply passed into the kitchen without word. Though her eyes were no longer on them, Simon tried to maintain his distance.
I go jogging sometimes. And swimming, I’d go shopping if it was easier. He grinned to her, without real interest. He wondered what Nora was thinking. So… dancing is pretty cool, talking to attractive men is a nice perk. He wished she would stop. He was certain Nora could hear. It took him a moment to realize a question had been posed, and he reminded himself of his resolution to proceed calmly. After all, he had no real reason to be ashamed, did he?
”I don’t know,” he started slowly. ”I like reading… I spend a lot of time with Nathaniel. He always seems to keep me busy.” Simon paused for a moment, aware of how entirely uninteresting he must seem. ”I do enjoy shopping… and walking around the neighborhood. Sometimes we visit bars or go to parties.”
Eventually, Nora returned to the room, and he offered her a hopeful smile. She seemed not to notice him. To Phae, she asked: Do you mind if I drink any of that? He frowned. What was wrong with her? Their guest agreed amiably, and his mistress again disappeared. By now, it made him anxious to have her out of sight. He wished she would just join them. Regardless of whether or not she was angry with him, it would make it so much easier if she would just be polite until they could have a word in private. Phae had done nothing wrong, and he was not at luxury to do much of anything for her now. He couldn’t exactly leave their guest. He paid no attention to the girl's comment, but felt the pressure of her hand on his arm like shackles. So, how do you know Nora anyway?
”She is… I mean... He looked at Phae, suddenly aware. ”I worked for her father. He gave me a job to help out my family. We’ve known eachother for some time.” As if to increase his discomfort, the girl leaned in to kiss him. He froze, eyes wide, and allowed her to finish before sitting back in his seat. He faced forward for a moment, considering, and seemed hardly cognizant of Nora exiting the room. Phae seemed to take notice of his sudden despondency and offered to fetch him a drink. He agreed without recognition and accepted the glass when she returned. He took a sip and winced. Far too strong. Music emanated from downstairs, and he finished it quickly. He frowned an apology at Phae, knowing he would have to go leave. He had to see after Nora.
Before he had even begun to speak, a jingle stopped him and the girl whipped out a small device. He watched in amazement as she spoke into it and listened to her words with rapt attention. She spoke in fragments, and it was hard to follow exactly what had passed. When she had finally finished, she put the object away and turned to him with a changed expression. She told him she had to go, and he rose to see her off, the alcohol causing his head to swim as he did so. The girl embraced him, and he patted an awkward hand against her shoulder in attempt to return her friendliness.
”I’m sorry to see you go,” he said, though more than anything he felt relief. ”Suppose I’ll be seeing you around?” He walked her to the door and shut it behind her, standing alone in the stillness for a bit longer than he had intended. Nora was still playing. He watched through the window as Phae’s vehicle pulled from the driveway, before walking uncertainly to the stairs. Putting a hand against the railing to steady himself, he descended with marked hesitancy. She seemed oblivious to his arrival.
”Nora?” he announced, too quiet to be heard over the piano. He crossed the room and put a hand on her shoulder to still her from the agitated playing. He tried to turn her to face him. ”Nora, what’s wrong?” he asked, the words feeling funny in his mouth. He wondered if it was evident that he had been drinking. It did not occur to him that his companion was much worse.

[Stockmon]

Phae was genuinely interested in Simon, but that didn’t make their personalities entirely compatible. She wasn’t a bad person, but she was far more casual and flirtatious than she might need to be. Ann didn’t even bring her around all the time, because it was not beyond Phae to flirt with a boy Ann was interested in, it just didn’t happen often due to their age difference. Either way Phae was enjoying talking to Simon. She would nod nicely and show a real interest in what he said. He did sound a bit more of a home body than she was, but he was still enjoyable to talk to. Phae could feel the animosity between the pair. It didn’t deter her in the slightest, she’d flirted with men around women who liked them, it honestly was not a big deal to her. She wasn’t being rude about it though. If Simon could hold a conversation away from Nora, he sure ought to be able to close to her.

Phae had at one point asked who Nathaniel was, as he’d been mentioned, but her attention was entirely diverted to her phone. Flirting was all well and good, but one of her sisters needed her to watch the kids while she had to do something urgent. The drink Phae had given to Simon was entirely less strong than what Nora had made. It was actually mixed somewhat. She didn’t get to relax much after, since she had to leave. She said she would be happy to see him again later, and was off.

Nora was a master pianist. She often occupied herself at parties by critiquing the entertainment, and sometimes even took over when she drove a pianist to actually quit. It had happened. Hypothetically it caused poor Nathaniel embarrassment, but as he was flittering around the party he had convinced her to attend, she felt no guilt for him. It was only because she was so comfortable with a piano that she could play now. Her fingers felt slow and shaky, and entirely uncooperative, but she refused to miss a keystroke. She heard something, no doubt, but all she could listen to was the music. If she listened to it she would not have to think about Simon and Phae. She would not need to worry. She would not feel so uncomfortably upset. She felt weight on her shoulder and jerked away, looking at him in surprise.

“Now, what’s wrong?”

Nora was still surprised that he was there. Why wasn’t he upstairs? She frowned and her hands still lingered over the piano, “Where is Phae?” She blinked several times, trying to keep him in focus. When she realized Phae was gone she stood up slowly. She leaned a bit far to one side, and held the piano as she got up, to balance. They were alone in the house, alone in a room, far from sight, two unrelated, unmarried people. He worked for her, sure, but he was still a man. Nora had known people to be hastily married off for being in less compromising situations. But for Nora even this was not enough.

“I don’t like her,” she said quickly, only speaking because of the alcohol, “because she’s… I don’t like her touching you.” It was amazing how drunk she had gotten in the time it took Simon to get a drink and say goodbye to Phae. All of the alcohol had hit Nora and she hardly even registered that she might not want to be saying that.

“And she’s… she’s…” Nora was fuming in her head. None of it was anger, but all she could do is feel. It was hard to think, she could only think so much, but she sure could feel. It made articulating anything difficult, but she tried, “Why do you like her? She’s…” Nora wasn’t sure why she couldn’t seem to finish that sentence. The words escaped her lips but in her frustration she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Simon. Her head against his chest like the other day, but she felt far more urgent now. She clung to him like he was going to leave again any moment. At least if she realized how drunk she was she might have had the sense of mind to watch herself, instead of just acting impulsively, but for now she was not aware. She was just aware that holding Simon close was comforting, and the world stopped spinning, and he wasn’t with anyone else right then. It was very confusing otherwise, but for the moment she felt better.

She didn’t know what else to do except stand there holding onto Simon. She probably would have said a lot more if she knew what to say. She did manage a small final comment, “I care about you, I just don’t like seeing her with you.”

[Psyche]

Simon recognized the shock in her eyes with some amusement. He had never met a woman who could become so engrossed in her work that she wouldn’t even notice the approach of the man she had just attempted to escape. Her immediate reaction, upon seeing him, was to question the fate of their guest. The inquiry bothered him.
”She had to go,” he explained shortly. The obvious discord between the two was, frankly, beginning to annoy him. As far as he could tell, Phae held no qualm, yet he had never seen Nora more defensive. He was fairly certain that, before this day, not even a word had passed between them.
He gathered, with some disappointment, that Nora was drunk. A sigh escaped him as she tried to train her eyes on his face. She swayed momentarily, and Simon dove forward to support her. Even after she had recovered with the help of the piano, he kept his arms around her. He was angry with her actions, and felt strangely entitled to this small comfort. Their conversation, in which he thought she acknowledged (and flippantly dismissed) his feelings, had eaten at him for days and made him almost bitter about the treatment, though he had failed to fully realize it until now. The feel of her body against him soothed his frustration.
I don’t like her. He listened to her try to explain, though it hardly made sense. She explained that she didn’t like to see him being touched by other women, then stumbled over further detail. Simon’s chest ached, and he felt himself breathing deeply in attempt to drown the fury of emotions. He felt lost. Insulted. Helpless. Betrayed. I care about you, I just don’t like seeing her with you. He considered in silence for several seconds before allowing himself to lose control.
”How can you say that? he demanded weakly. Tears had sprouted in the corners of his eyes, and he wasn’t sure if they were born in anger or morning. He was ashamed, but did not attempt to hide them. ”How can you do this to me? In his turmoil, he had stepped away to look her in the eyes. His expression was nothing but pain.
”Nora, I love you,” he confessed, though it hardly felt one. ”And I understand why you want me to back off, I really do… but… You can’t do this. It’s not fair.” His shoulders fell, and he allowed some of the hostility to fade. ”You know that I love you. Isn’t that enough? No one could ever replace you.” He stooped down to be on level with her. ”I can’t mourn you forever, though. I have to try to… Move on.” He cupped her face in one hand, heart thudding heavily and mind racing. ”I’m sorry. You know it’s not what I want, but I don’t know what else I can do.”

[Stockmon]

“She had to go.” Oh, good, Nora thought. She was happy to have her away. This way you couldn’t be so possessive of Simon. Nora was possessive of Simon, but she didn’t go around touching him like that. Maybe she should. No. What? Wait. Should she? She felt even more confused now, and no doubt looked it, but he seemed unhappy. Why was he unhappy with her? Because she was rude? She was always rude, wasn’t she? Maybe not to everyone, but to a lot of people. She was rude because she disliked them. She disliked them for judging her. She would rather have a hundred ladies of the ton judging her every breath than see another woman interacting with Simon in that way. It was sickening. Not that it was exactly disgusting, it was just so painful it could make her sick.

She had no idea of his emotions. If she had she would have addressed them. She was on such a different wavelength than Simon that deciphering the already confusing man was utterly impossible. She relaxed slightly at him trying to help hold her up, and she just kept holding onto him. She was just standing there, holding onto him for comfort and safety, and then he started to speak again, and he sounded upset. Specifically upset with her.

“How can you say that?” Say what? That I care about you? That I don’t like some woman touching you? I don’t know… it’s just… how I feel… her confused expression turned instantly to worry as she saw him cry. She bit her lip she held her hands in front of her, since he had stepped away. “How can you do this to me?” Do what to you? What am I doing? What have I done? Get upset? Act rude? Simon… what?

Her hands still itched to reach over and dry his eyes. He seemed to unhappy with her that this was impossible, and her hands stayed glued together in front of her. “Nora, I love you.” She blinked. Despite being intoxicated, despite being confused, despite knowing she’d always loved Simon and cared about him, she was easily able to grasp what he meant in this instance. She continued to blink, realizing it kept her grounded, and she averted her eyes when he said that. If you love me… why are you… why would you be doing that with her? “And I understand why you want me to back off, I really do… but… you can’t do this. It’s not fair.” His shoulder’s slumped and she frowned, brow furrowed, mind working heavily. What did he mean? What could he possibly mean.

“H-how is that… how is that not fair?” she asked, her tone almost more demanding than outright confused. She still wasn’t sure what to say, but he seemed to still have something to say.

“You know that I love you.” No I didn’t. “Isn’t that enough?” Apparently not. If you never tell me. “No one could ever replace you.” Why would they replace me? Why didn’t you just tell me? He bent down to her level and she pried her hands apart to gently wipe the tears from near his eyes away with her thumbs. Holding his face with the rest of her hands she stayed still as he kept talking. His confusing condemnation continued, “I can’t mourn you forever, though.” Mourn me? You can certainly mourn someone forever… but I’m right here… “I have to try to… Move on.” Her face warmed as he cupped it, “I’m sorry. You know it’s not what I want,” I sincerely doubt you have any idea what I know… I don’t know what I know anymore. “but I don’t know what else I can do.”

“Simon… you are the most absurd man I have ever met…” she said, her tone gentle, vulnerable, and honestly still fairly confused. She was starting to piece together that he liked her, at least that much was helpful, “I… I asked if we could stay… laying on the bed, w-with you holding me, and now you’re… saying I want you to back off? What ever are you talking about?” Her mouth dry and her words seemed useless, as his only served to put her farther into the dark. She was fairly close to him at least. Maybe he wanted to mourn her, or whatever he was on about, but she didn’t want any of that. She could lose a lot by being this close to Simon, not that she cared, not that she even thought of that at the moment, but it was true. Instead of letting go or backing up or anything sensible like that, Nora just leaned closer and in what was a surprising action for a woman who had not so much as kissed the one man she had been deeply involved with, she did kiss Simon. She managed it with more grace than her attempt at standing up, maybe in hopes that she could kiss away all his troubling words.

[Psyche]

Confusion was evident on Nora’s features, and he wondered if the alcohol had been more effective than he had anticipated. When he finished, it became apparent that she had understood almost nothing of what had been said. For all of his trouble, the explanation seemed to have gotten them nowhere. When at last she responded, he tried to hide his offense. She didn’t find her actions unfair? Even thought him absurd? He frowned at her.
I… I asked if we could stay… laying on the bed, w-with you holding me. His heart nearly stopped. In his panic, he heard very little of the ensuing statement, but it had been enough. He knew his mistake immediately. Suddenly, his rebuke seemed entirely too revealing. He opened his mouth, hoping for the words to explain it all away, and gaped at her when they did not come. It was his turn to stumble.
”I… That’s not wha--” Her lips silenced him, and he pushed her away in shock. His world was whirling, and he could do little more than stare. It took several moments for the realization to take effect. ”You’ve got to be kidding me.” It all happened very quickly.
His lips found hers in an instant, unwilling to spend another second apart. He was kissing her: hungrily, passionately, longingly. His hands were gentle, yet commanding. They caressed her face, trailed her spine, slipped beneath her shirt to the skin of her back. He was delighted by the chance, amazed by the deftness of his fingers, worried by their independence.
Before he even realized what was happening, he had backed her to the couch. He eased her to the surface, his kiss urging her to focus on nothing else. He was on top of her, his hands guiding her head to rest upon the cushions. His fingers slipped between hers as he kissed her deeply. Her skin was softer than he had imagined.
Every inch of him yearned for her and the intensity of their touch made the temptation irresistible. His tongue brushed her lips softly before he turned to burying his caresses in the hollow of her neck. He could feel goosebumps breaking in her flesh and was charged by the simple, physical reaction. He stroked her hair and explored her throat with eager kisses. He was amazed by the receptiveness of her body and traced his hand along the silhouette of her figure.
”Nora,” he whispered, out of breath, his eyes closed as he nuzzled against her. ”You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

[Stockmon]

Once Nora started to speak Simon seemed even less pleased with her. It would have hurt her, had she more time to focus on it. It would have hurt to the point of anger were she left alone with this information, these reactions, his words, long enough to dissect them and work herself into her own antisocial hole. A basement was perfect for that. When she kept talking was when he really reacted though. He looked stunned, panicked. He looked like he was going to be ill, or jut die right then perhaps. It was still quite absurd, but then she supposed she just had no idea what was going on. He was gaping at her, but when he tried to speak was when she got to kiss him.

He immediately pushed her away and she looked stunned. He stared at her and she blinked back at him. The feelings were starting to hit her. The kiss, for all of the second it had lasted, had been nice. It had been something, drawn something out in her. Being pushed away gave her a jolt of reality. I just kissed Simon. Why did I kiss Simon!? What compelled me to… he is going to… She was going to freak herself out, but she didn’t have the time to really let that sink in before Simon was reacting again. No, this time he was acting on his own.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She was about to wonder what he thought she was kidding about, but he was in front of her again, and now he was kissing her on his own. That meant kissing him had not been a very horrible mistake. Not that she was really thinking about the pros and cons of kissing Simon anymore, because all she could do was feel, and the feelings seemed entirely pro. He was everywhere, she couldn’t focus on anything else while he kissed her, and it made it hard to breathe. Not that she cared, breathing was for moments when she wasn’t kissing, and those seemed overrated anyway. Her skin light up at her caressed her face, and goosebumps started springing up of their own accord on her arms. And her back, definitely her back, something about her back, she wasn’t sure, all she knew was his hand was there, and the feeling of his fingers moving up against her skin was constricting her ribs all on its own.

She didn’t know where they were, but the world seemed to be moving. It always seemed to be moving though, ever since she drank so much alcohol. This was different, and she was fairly certain it was actually moving this time, instead of in her own head. Her head did end up against something soft for a moment, before she leaned it forward to kiss him again. She gripped his hand tight as his fingers slid in with hers, and she matched his intensity in the kiss. She didn’t know how to kiss, she didn’t have any experienced or information to refer to. There was nothing for her to think on, but the alcohol, and his responsiveness, and feeling how good it felt to kiss him back constantly, that was enough to drive her.

She felt his tongue and parted her lips some. Then his lips were at her neck and she inhaled sharply. It seemed only fair that he would be kissing everywhere, though she would definitely not think that. It felt right. It felt necessary. It felt like fire and satin, and she was surprised she could even breathe at all. She let out a faint pleased sigh.

“Nora, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

The words sounded far away and confusing as her mind was swimming in his kisses. She didn’t quite register what he said, or the implications. She didn’t think about him possibly fantasizing, or how long he had liked her. She just heard him talking, saying something that meant he was happy. She moved her hands from his back to his sides, trailing up his chest, wondering for the first time in her life what his skin would feel like, but not letting that slow her down. She cupped his face in her hands, “Then keep going,” she told him. She slid her hands behind his head and pulled him back close to kiss her. Her lips met his again, this time with a stronger sense of need, a sense of urgency. Her kiss screamed of the temptation she felt, and all she could do was give in to that. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she held tight, enjoying the feeling of it mixed with her fingers.

With that she kissed him again, unsure what other purpose her lips might have, and too fixated to try what he had done. Her free hand moved down his back while her lips remained occupied. She tugged his shirt up and slid her fingers along his back just along the edge of his waistband. It made the tips of her fingers tingle, so she slid her hand up his back slightly inside his shirt, wanting more of that sensation.

[Psyche]

Her touch was electric, and her hands were everywhere. He could feel her tugging at his hair, his shirt. Their lips were interlocked, and he was amused by her enthusiasm. He slid an arm beneath her, relishing the contact of their bare skin, and pulled her closer. Supported now by only an elbow, his body pressed firmly against her. He could feel her chest rise with every fevered breath. He toyed with her lips, biting them softly, exploring with his tongue.
Gradually, he lowered himself to the couch beside her and drew her in to face him. He ran his palm along the curve of her hip, up to her hair, down her spine. After some time, his kisses began to slow and he allowed himself to gaze at her. Her disheveled clothes and exposed skin excited him nearly enough to renew the endeavor, but he put a hand to her face. He kissed her gently, as if for the first time, and smiled.
“I love you,” Simon whispered. He pressed his lips to her forehead and wrapped his arms around her. His cheek nestled affectionately atop her head, and he breathed deeply. Her smell, her warmth, the feel of her beside him: It was enough to make him sigh. ”I’ve always loved you.”

[Stockmon]

Nora was nowhere near her senses. She couldn’t remember every kiss, every motion, every touch, they seemed to be bluring together. She enjoyed the blur, but it definitely had started to spin together. As things slowed down she relaxed against him. Her chest rose and fell deeply as she started to catch her breath.

“I love you,” Simon said. This was far more specific. This was far less easy to brush past in her confusion. This was enough it was getting through to her. She averted her eyes, and were she not flushed from the kisses she would have blushed even now. That didn’t stop her from cuddling close to him. “I’ve always loved you.”

“You’re crazy,” she told him lightly. It spoke to her own opinions. She never really expected to find that sense of love or belonging when it came to men. She was too old by her era’s standards. She was just so generally complicated and unpleasant. She knew that much, but since she didn’t actually like any of them it didn’t much matter. Simon she cared about. Simon was saying he loved her. Simon was… crazy. “It’s… I’m surprised… I must like you… seeing you with Phae was impossible. Don’t do that again?” she asked, requested, suggested perhaps. She leaned over and kissed him again, then lay her head against his chest quietly.

[Psyche]

Gradually, the movement between them slowed. He found himself relaxed against her, his face resting in the hollow of her shoulder. Her hair felt cool against his flushed cheek, and he breathed deeply to compensate for the rush. He laced his fingers between hers and pulled her closer with the arm that was pinned beneath the small of her back. His lips pressed lightly against her neck. He couldn’t imagine wanting anything else.
You’re crazy, she informed him. Disappointment registered on his features, but in her embrace, the feeling was hard to maintain. He resumed his former position with some sobriety. It’s… I’m surprised… I must like you… seeing you with Phae was impossible. He listened in silence, not meeting her gaze. He supposed it was, in essence, more than he had ever hoped. In the fevered exchange that had passed between them, however, somehow he had convinced himself there was more. He felt ungrateful, uncertain. Don’t do that again?
”No, of course,” he replied distractedly. Her kiss regained his attention. He tried to glimpse her expression, but she turned to lay her head against him. There were so many things he wanted to say. He couldn’t imagine what she meant, what it all had been to her. He wanted to know what she was thinking, what she wanted, what he should do. Her breathing slowed as she slipped into unconsciousness, and his concerns went unvoiced.
He lay with her for some time, allowing his imagination to fill the void that his actions had not. He wondered if she loved him, if she ever would. He wondered what it would be like to hold her like this every night, to fall asleep in her arms, to wake her with gentle kisses and talk in hushed voices until the sun rose. He smoothed her hair and listened to the tide of her breath for what seemed like an eternity.
When he at last overcame his reluctance to leave, he shifted her into his lap, careful to keep her head cradled peacefully against him, and carried her across the room. Despite his efforts, he felt her waken in his arms. He helped her into bed and obliged the gentle tug of her hands by sliding underneath the sheets beside her. She wrapped her arms around him and faded, almost immediately, to sleep.
This time, he hardly waited. When he was sure she would not be disturbed, he got to his feet and stole across the room. His hand ached and prickled where she had rested upon it, and he tried to straighten his hair and clothing in spite of this lack of sensation. With one last look to make sure that Nora was safe beneath the sheets, he hurried upstairs. He hadn’t been sure before, but now it was unmistakable. As he reached the landing, he heard movement in the kitchen, and realized, with sinking displeasure, that Taylor had returned.
His heart thudded unpleasantly and he tried to sneak past the doorway without being seen. At the moment, he was finding it hard to imagine anything more unpleasant than being confronted by their host. He felt naked, inexplicably guilty. He was sure that the man would know what had happened. His position was tricky enough. For the first time, he wondered what Nathaniel would think. He strode down the hallway, refusing to let his gaze wander from its course, and bolted into his room.
Nathaniel. How could he have forgotten? With Nora’s approval, nothing had seemed to matter. So many of the things that had held him back vanished when she had kissed him. She wanted him, and suddenly nothing else seemed important. He didn’t relish what consorting with someone of his rank would do to her standing in society... or any of the other drawbacks it would hold for her. He didn’t look forward to the questions or the looks or the gossip. But Nathaniel… He seemed fall onto the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. Nathaniel would kill him.

[Stockmon]

The kisses had been highly inappropriate, no doubt. They were inappropriate in any time, but they were practically criminal for what Nora had been raised with. That did not make her feel guilty now. It did not make it something excited for the sake of being rebellious. It made it so very foreign. It was something Nora had never thought was even the slightest bit possible, and then when it came up she didn’t know how to even want to resist. It was like suddenly being told you could fly, and being asked if you wanted to. Of course she did.

“No, of course.” Good… Nora thought tiredly. She felt comforted by the thought that he would not be doing things with Phae again. Well she hadn’t quite asked that he not do anything with her. She hadn’t exactly asked any of it, but she felt like she had. She felt like this meant Simon would not flirt with Phae, but what did that mean? Did that mean he could flirt with other women, but just not Phae? Just not in front of Nora? Could he flirt with Nora? Was that what she meant? She wasn’t allowed to mean that, right? Did she want him flirting with her? She was simply too tired to think about the implications of what she might be saying, or that this was all lost on Simon.

She slowly faded into sleep. He was warm and secure and unlike her fits of restless insanity over Taylor, this was comforting. She held on and as she fell asleep this was good. It was better than talking to Andrew until she grew tired, or laying in her bed at home alone, her mind too full of conflict to enjoy the rest. She didn’t want Simon gone. When he started to move her she instinctively held on, but eventually he managed to head out. This happened when she was tucked safe in bed.

Taylor had been out tending to things. He had a few contacts to talk to. It was still unknown how long things might be turbulent. It was not an issue of making sure the people hunting him ceased being worried, but an issue of making sure that they could not go after Nora and the Lockwood brothers. He also wanted to check on his mother and buy food. Living with a teenage boy, a recluse, and the embodiment of angst meant Taylor went through some more food than usual. He walked in with a few bags and as he was putting them on the table he noticed Simon. The man was acting odd, but then he always was. It seemed most strange that he was coming from Nora’s area. He supposed she must be down there, though the two rarely had private conversations. It was definitely curious.

It became more and more curious when Nora didn’t come out of her room. Neither did Simon. Had they fought? It wasn’t all that unusual. He looked around the room and noticed a fair amount of alcohol missing from the bottle. That was interesting. He put everything away already, and after a few hours he wandered down to Nora’s room. She was awake at least. Her head in her hands.

Nora. Nora… what were you… what did you… why did you do that?! YOU KISSED HIM!? And, and, and, and he, and he said… and he… he what?! She was rocking back and forth, her head in her hands. She was hardly over being drunk and she felt sick. Not sick because of the alcohol but sick with anxiety. There was no winning in this situation. She had to… marry him? Run away? Fire him? Join a convent? Oh no, she did not want to join a convent. Well, maybe, maybe they weren’t… so horrible. She could become a silent nun, or something, right? She could go live in the mountains and speak to no one ever. It wasn’t as if the Ashton fortune could not stand the hit. Could she live alone? Maybe she should take her butler, because that wouldn’t be the most ironic thing ever. Overall Nora was freaking out about every possible thing and she could not wrap her mind around exactly why she had done that. She kissed him… she felt like she could cry.

“Hey, Nora… is something the matter?” Taylor asked gently. She looked up, her face pale and blank. She scanned him, almost criticizing him for being there. Accusing him of something. “You’ve been down here a while, I was just wondering.”

“I’m fine, I just feel strange,” she said simply. Her tone was cutting and short, but it had an underlying vulnerability that worried him.

“Huh, well that might be the alcohol. Did you drink any of it?” he asked curiously. She blinked at him and gave a quick affirmative. It seemed like she thought him asking was strange, “Well, okay, it’s pretty hard liquor. How much did you have?”

“A glass.”

He blinked. She didn’t mean that. Surely she didn’t. She didn’t break their eye contact. “A glass… like a full… like a wine glass?” She nodded. “Oh, well… that’s… like over three shots worth. That’s like three glasses of wine at once, condensed. You’d be drunk for hours on that Nora. Do you even remember what happened?” She glared at him.

“Yes.” Not entirely. “I just need to think. I am fine, please leave.” Oh, it wasn’t a suggestion. He knew that. He sighed and left the room. Nora could remember most everything, though moments blurred together. So much kissing. She blushed bright red. And it had been enjoyable, but the things he said, and the things they did. And no wonder. Apparently, she had to realize from all that had happened, she did have feelings for Simon, but this was all too much at once.

Taylor left the room and went immediately to Simon’s bedroom. He knocked, and soon enough Simon answered. “Hi, I don’t want to bother you,” I know how you hate my very existence, “But… I just figured out Nora got really drunk while I was gone. I’m guessing that was Phae’s fault. She is acting weird. Anyway, I’m just worried… is there…” he sighed. He didn’t want to ask if there was something he should be worried about. That sounded accusatory. “Just did she do anything?” There, that was at least mostly confusing, and probably didn’t help. He sighed though, it was stressful for him.